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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

"Juan Pablo gives me DOUCHEBUMPS!"

Shout out to my sister for the title. I've been dying to use it since she said it. Which was yesterday. Patience is not my strong suit.
 
 
I recently regaled you with several reasons why "I Hate That I Love The Bachelor." Today, I'm publically declaring my independence from it. I need space. At least until the next season. When anyone but Juan Pablo is the object of undeserved affection.
 
I had high hopes for this season. Translation: I was excited that they had chosen someone so hot.
 
(Source)
 
Why hello there, "it's what's on the inside that counts"... we meet again.
 
Dude is boring. Dude is a hypocrite. Dude is generic. Dude is manipulative. Dude actually had me feeling bad for Clare (for like 5 minutes - but still!)... which is easily the worst offense of them all and was the beginning of the end for me.
 
At this point, I'd rather keep room open on our DVR for one of Pete's dumb shows, like Bob's Burgers. I wouldn't even be upset if I was watching and it got interrupted by a State of the Union Address... I would actually welcome the interruption.
 
It's adios for now, The Bachelor. So help me... if they put his ass on the next season of Dancing With the "Stars" I will throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions.
 
(Source)
 
Have you ever taken a break from a show or just stopped watching it entirely because of one person on it?
  
 

54 comments:

  1. Unfortunately, I'm still hooked and can't stop watching him. But I totally know what you mean with him!! He does make me mad that he has been such a hypocrite! And while I debated feeling bad for Clare, I decided not to cause girl is flat out cray.

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  2. i refuse to watch the old spiderman movies because of kirstin dunst. i just can't stand that staggletoothed biatch.

    and i nearly stopped watching walking dead because of Lorie but they fixed that and all was right with the world.

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

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  3. i just can't watch the bachelor. it's too much. just too much..,.

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  4. Still judging you.

    On another note his purple socks in that pic up there just scream Douchbaggery, you have to admit.

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  5. I hate the bachelor and usually skip over any post with the word bachelor in the title....but then I saw douchebumps and I had to read. Awesomeness. I may have to steal that term and put it in my bank of words to pull out later.

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  6. I will not watch anything that contains Kristin Stewart. She is a total butthole.

    This title rules.

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  7. I havent watched one episode of that show this season. I cant stand anything with whiny women. The only one who gets to "wine" is me.

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  8. I gave up on the bachelor franchise awhile ago. Used to be an addict. It's just so unreal, I went from practically crying over the romance of it all to wanting to throw things at them and scream " you're living in a fantasy"!!!!! Idk how Ryan and Trista actually made it... and Jason and Molly too!

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  9. omg lololol "douchebumps" I've never been a big fan of the Bachelor ... I mean, all of them are horny over and making out with the same dude? And they fall in love with him in .025 seconds? I know of two girls back home who have been on "reality tv" shows, and they are models who were casted so I have a hard time believing that any of these types of shows are real!!

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    Replies
    1. My husband and I noted that as well. Every single one of the girls on the show are attractive with amazing bodies. Give me a break. Where's the average chick or the one that is a bit on the pudgy side? It's not reality.

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  10. Love the title!!! I really don't like him as the Bachelor. At first it was a Lost in Translation thing but no, he is just a boring hypocrite.

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  11. THE TITLE OF THIS POST.

    I needed to pause and actually laugh out loud (during a work meeting no less), because hot damn that was funny. I watched one episode of this season and gave up. He wasn't worth the time. And clearly he sucks in general, I've heard nothing but bad things.

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  12. I've never gotten into the Bachelor. New Girl is really all the matters to me.

    I want to yes, yes I have stopped watching a show because of one person but for the life of me, I can't remember what show it was.

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  13. Doucebumps is awesomeness of epic proportions.. so why is this guy such a panty fart? I don't want the show but I keep hearing such bad things about him. Fill me in Sista!

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  14. I have an irrational hatred of Mandy Moore. Any movie/show with her in it is immediately turned off no questions asked.

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    1. Also, A+ to your sister on "douchebumps" I am totally stealing that!

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  15. Hahaha, this is awesome! I hadn't watched The Bachelor in years, because I couldn't handle the cheesy dates and the crazy chicks, but this year I was ALL about Juan Pablo, HOLA! But I am over it too...I didn't get far before I decided I couldn't. I still think he's hot, though ;)

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  16. I can't stand Tom Cruise as a personal (he was a PR nightmare a few years back and I hold grudges) so I refuse to watch ANY of his movies - well, except Tropic Thunder because that movie is HILARIOUS. And I don't watch The Bachelor regularly, but I did hear buzz that J.P. is changing rules from girl to girl, so of course I decided to tune in. Within 2 minutes of a one on one date I can name off a good 5 things he's done that come off as insincere, yet these women talk to the camera like he's soooo genuine. I don't buy his "nice guy; I'm a father" routine.

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  17. Love that this show once again proved it's what is on the inside that counts. So true!

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  18. I broke up with this show a few years ago, as well as the Biggest Loser, because I just can't commit to shows that are two hours long! And they drag everything out SO MUCH (weigh ins, rose ceremonies) that I just feel like I'm completely wasting my time. I mainly only know what's going on on those shows because I read about it on people's blogs, LOL

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  19. I've never watched the Bachelor. But I've heard about Juan him and Jake are jackasses. All J's. P.S. I'm stealing douchebumps forever.

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  20. I've never been able to get into the bachelor- I just can't handle it, so I approve of this post :) haha

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  21. I can't watch the bachelor, it's just too much for me. My mother-in-law and sister-in-laws are obsessed however, so I know whats going on whether or not I want to!

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  22. We *LOVE* the Bachelor...but we are boycotting this season. We just hate Juan Paul. You called it. He's a total douche. Blech. Fleiss should have picked Arie. :( --The Dose Girls

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  23. Oh I so don't miss the Bachelor!

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  24. THIS just made my top posts you ever did... & it makes me feel justified that I have turned 180 degrees on my opinion of him. Someone today was talking about his 'baby talk' &that just sent chills down my spine. How do these women stay there with his douche-y ways? ... oh, to get that Neil Lane diamond... I forgot.

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  25. hahaha great title! I used to faithfully watch the Bachelor and Bachelorette, but I haven't watched it the past few seasons. I felt like I'm missing out since everyone is watching it, but this post just made me glad that I haven't bothered wasting my time, so thanks for that!

    Ashley, Married to the Game

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  26. That title is perfect...wait what's Bob's Burgers and why haven't I heard about this yet?

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  27. hahah I don't watch the Bachelor but I feel you about hating one person on a show. I stopped watching Teen Mom because I wanted to smack Janelle so bad. Fun fact: one of my roommates in college grew up in the same town as Janelle and knew her. She confirmed that she is in fact a horrible piece of white trash.

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  28. Ok in Pete's defense I actually LIKE Bob's Burgers. Pj and Pete are the only people that watch it, Maybe Adam too but I actually laugh sometimes. . . #GuiltyAsCharged. Plus I'm not one to be into the reality TV shows so I get lost in what else to watch!!

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  29. I think I may follow suit and stop watching. JP is annoying me to no end with his constant makeout sessions and lack of depth. I thought the ridiculousness of the girls on the show could balance out his boring-ness, but without the dog lover, baby Cassandra (still CANNOT get over the fact that she was 21), and the free spirit, the only person I have left to make fun of is Clare. And even I, like you, felt bad for her for about 5 minutes. UGH. On to the next season please.

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  30. Well right now I don't have cable so I've stopped watching all shows. But, before when I had TV, I stopped watching sooooo many shows bc of bad plot twists or characters dying, what-have-you. I never stopped watching reality shows (but I only watched Jersey Shore or American Ninja Warrior). But I've quit Walking Dead, Nip/Tuck, and manh others bc I couldn't handle the plot changes not to my liking.

    I wish I had TV so I could understand why this bachelor is so terrible! I thought he was a favorite when he was the one pining for the lady?

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  31. LOVING douchebumps. How can I wangle that into a blog post? Who can't I stand? Oh, Paul chuffing Bettany. His face annoys me. Post twat.

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  32. you say that now, but brad's next recap is going to suck you back in!

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  33. LOL Douchebumps. That is going in my bank of vocabulary to use on a regular basis now. Please thank your sister for me. I am so over Juan Pablo. This is the only season of the Bach that I've ever watched, so it's a huge let down. He is seriously SO FUCKING GROSS. Esp after this week when he just attached himself to the girls face mid sentence. Ugh. I can't. He makes me physically ill.

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  34. I gave up on The Bachelor years ago. I can't.

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  35. So funny, Bob's Burgers just happened to be left on our tv and I was sitting on my laptop and didn't think to turn it off. All of a sudden, I asked my husband, what the heck is this show?! Thankfully, I never watch the Bachelor either. I get super annoyed by the girls on the show, and it sounds like the main guy is a D-bag ;) I would end up turning into a monster if I let myself watch that show :)
    Eva Marie

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  36. Girl I agree completely... I love the Bachelor but JP is completely obnoxious, hypocritical, and can barely speak English. LOL.

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  37. Epic commentary by your sister...the title absolutely makes this post! Ha ha. I agree with you about Juan Pablo...he has been a let down. But, I'm so invested in the season that I will continue watching because I must know how it ends of course!

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  38. This makes me sad. I only watched the first episode this season because I forgot to record it and everybody has said the same things. This is why I don't watch. I just can't.

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  39. I hate Juan Pablo! Everything you said about him is right, he is SUCH a hypocrite it makes me crazy! And the fact that he blames that whole going to far thing on Clare is crap (I actually like her *oops*) I mean dang son it takes two to tango! And basically him and Clare did the same stuff that him and Andi did under that waterfall sooo yea. And him always saying he doesn't want his daughter to see stuff and be disappointed and blah blah is so annoying. Dude you're on the BACHELOR, she is going to be haunted for life!

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  40. I straight up laughed out loud when I saw your title! lol. Quite frankly, I'm a little bit disappointed that you're dumping the season as I really like your humorous takes on all the craziness that is The Bachelor! I've gotten bored of all the singing shows. I used to love American Idol and The Voice. I just can't anymore. It's the same stories over and over again.

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  41. I always watch the bachelor but opted out of this season cause he totally sucks. I'd even go as as far as saying that Pilot Jake was more interesting....

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  42. I think what the issue was with Juan Pablo is that we didn't really get to know him on the Bachelorette so he was intriguing. Couple that with his hotness and accent and girls all over America were swooning for more. Then you make him the spot light and you see why his ass got kicked to the curb.

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  43. Oh I once left Big Brother's series just because I was tired of a some shitty persons in the show! I hate when this happens!

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  44. OMG okay. I felt similar during Ben's season. I basically HATED HIS GUTS! I was also excited for this season too because I really thought Juan Pablo was supposed to be a "nice guy." But it's all a freaking front. He's sexy and he knows it. And he SO uses it to his advantage and then makes the girls feel like crap. The fact that he brought his daughter into the mess with Clare was just wrong. YOU made a mistake, jerk. Own up to it. You got your lollis and then make the girl cry by basically blaming it on her. Awesome. And great example for your daughter--really. I assure you if he DIDN'T mention 100 times what time they were in the ocean or IMPLY how far they went--we would never know. He basically called attention to it--so it's on him. Whatever. I want to give up on the show. I really do. And I just might. I also agree about the Bob's Burgers thing. My husband watches religiously and I'm just like..."uhm? what IS this?" Lol

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  45. See...I never watch the Bachelor. Now I kind of want to to see why everyone hates this guy...

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  46. I've spent 2 seconds on your blog, and I already love you. Douchebumps may be my most new favorite word. Like ever.

    I shall use it in a sentence today!

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  47. I haven't watched The Bachelor in years. The dudes and the women have just creeped me out.

    Bob's Burgers is an odd show.

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  48. I loved every part of this post! I completely agree with you! I did not like Clare and then Juan made me feel like he was a jerk, because he felt guilty that they were doing naughty things in the ocean and then tried to blame it on him having a daughter? Like seriously, after that I was all hmm Idk about the show, and then after this week's show I really just completely tuned out halfway through the show; and figured I'd still keep it on my DVR and randomly watch it when I have nothing, and I mean nothing better to do someday! And since I'm on maternity leave - I'll likely watch it! But I am definitely not waiting for Monday nights to roll around anymore! I love "Douchebumps" - Hilar!

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  49. Never really watched the bachelor but I have felt that way about several shows one person totally can ruin it. Oh ya if he's on Dancing with the stars I will be right there with you throwing that tantrum lol

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  50. I stopped watching the Bachelor and Bachlorette after Tenley didn't get picked (I may have cried) and after Chris didn't get picked (I did cry), every once in awhile I'll watch a little of newest one and for some reason this guy give me the creeps! I'm not sure why but I just wanna punch him

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  51. I quit watching the Bachelor when what's his name dumped Deanna or whatever on the reunion show for the other chick. It made me SO mad that I just turned off the TV and have never looked back... I was obsessed with the show before that... but no more.

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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