Welcome back to the real
internet world, friends! I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Mine was spent working, so, I won't bore you with a re-cap.
I could've gotten a lot more accomplished if there were more hours in a day, or if I had a personal assistant. Let's go with the personal assistant thing. Y'know... because I'm lazy and even if there were extra hours in a day I'd most likely spend them napping anyway.
So, I've decided to place an ad for one, right here on my blog.
Personal Assistant Position Overview
- Normal household chores, including but not limited to: laundry, cleaning, following Pete around and picking up after him, etc.
- Typing out my blog posts, comments and follow-up e-mails as I dictate them to you.
- Being my seat warmer (I don't have a fancy late model whip so your ass will literally warm the seat up for me).
- Prepare all of my meals.
- Open my pop cans, wipe my butt, etc. after I've painted my nails (while we're on the subject of nails, you will also blow them dry).
- Rave about how gorgeous I look every day, even when I clearly look like shit.
- Screen my mail so that the Victoria's Secret catalog never crosses my path.
- Whatever the hell else I make up along the way.
- Must possess common sense.
- Must only speak when spoken to.
- Must NEVER question my authority.
- You will be at my beck and call all day, erryday.
If you're interested in becoming my personal assistant, please forward your resume and cover letter to my attention at: email@example.com.
What would you have your personal assistant do?
Don't forget: tomorrow is round 2 of the Shit Men Say link-up with Danae and I! Grab the button and get your posts ready! All the cool kids are doing it!